As much as I would like to think that what I do on a daily basis is helping many people, there are many people out there who think it is a total fraud. There are news stories and internet posts about this Medium or that one being a fake. There are many people who dedicate themselves to dis-proving Mediums and what they do. They find ways in which they “cold read” a person, meaning they ask questions and the person provides them with the answer. I’m sure there are some less than ethical people out there giving readings, however, please treat it as an individual situation. Just because you don’t understand how something works, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
As a teacher of Mediumship, I can’t emphasize enough to my students the importance of Ethics. There are some key things that they need to be conscious of as they do this work. I hope that I have done an effective job in teaching them to be ethical Mediums as they put their energy into the world.
So, for the average Joe, what are some things that will help you in getting a “good” reading? I’ve been processing this list for awhile and hopefully it will help you, whether you are new to readings or have been receiving them for years.
Expectations. The number one reason people aren’t happy with their reading is that they have an anticipated expectation of what they will get. If it’s your first reading, please don’t compare any reader with what you see on TV. Keep in mind that those Mediums are 100% correct every time because there is a lot of film on the cutting room floor. You wouldn’t watch if they were giving information that wasn’t being validated by the sitter. If your only reference point of a Medium is Theresa Caputo of the Long Island Medium show, you will most likely be disappointed in your session with me. I have nothing in common with her as far as my delivery style or how I live my life. She was chosen for that show because her life is entertaining. It’s television.
The key point here is to ask your reader what you can expect from them during a reading. We all work differently. I teach my students to tell their sitters, first thing, what to expect from their reading. That would include: how they work with Spirit, who they work with in Spirit, how their readings are typically laid out, and other pertinent information the sitter needs to know.
Ask for Evidence. The best readers are the ones who work in Evidential Mediumship. That means that before they are telling you anything about what you should do with your life, they are providing you with evidence of who they are working with. I’ve never known a parent in Spirit to come through and tell their child that they hate them. A loved one will always come through with love. However, if the only thing I say is “your mother loves you”, that doesn’t prove to you that I’m really connecting to your mother. The evidential part might be if I tell you what she passed from, what she looked like, how old she was when she passed, her name, etc. Evidence. Once you can verify that I have the right person, then we can go on with the message. Otherwise, you will get to a point in your reading and wonder if it’s really your mom giving you the message or just your reader providing with their interpretation.
I’ve also had this experience during readings. I’ve given my sitter a laundry list of validating evidence. They can validate all of it and will verify it is the person they want. However, they won’t be happy that it is their loved one in Spirit unless I say one particular phrase, pet name or show them something specific from that person. Gosh, I wish Mediumship worked like that! I would love for your loved ones to come through giving me a soliloquy of information about themselves and providing you with exactly what you want to hear. Unfortunately, I’m human and my vibration is not on the level as theirs. I work through signs, symbols, feelings, visions and life references. If you set that expectation, I will probably become very human and start thinking of what you want instead of allowing what your loved one wants me to tell you. If I allow it, what you want to hear usually comes through.
There is a difference between a Psychic and a Medium. Mediumship is the process of proving that the soul lives on even after the physical body dies. Mediums talk to Spirit energies, Psychics don’t. If someone is saying they are a Medium, they should be providing you with evidence of who they are speaking with. A Psychic is working off of your energy field. They are getting impressions but don’t know where they are coming from. It’s like your knowing who is calling you on the phone before you look at the Caller ID.
You will always get the information you need, not necessarily the information that you want. This is another reason why someone would consider a reading “not good”. Even if they got a ton of information, it wasn’t what they wanted to hear. There is no judgment in Spirit. No Spirit will tell you to leave a relationship or quit your job. They will share guidance on how your life will be if you stay in that relationship or that job or what you need to do before you leave either. It’s usually going to come through as a lesson for you to learn. If you’re not ready to hear that or take the necessary steps, you will most likely walk away feeling that it wasn’t a great reading.
The same goes for who comes through in your session. Your reader has no control over who is coming through. Some Mediums have better connections than others. Find a reader who has been working with Spirit for a longer period of time if you want a greater chance of a specific energy coming through. Also, most readers use a timer that beeps with some time left. If you have gotten to a point in your reading where your session is coming to an end, ask your reader if someone is there. If that energy isn’t at the front of the line, using their name might bring them forward. Just because you provided a name doesn’t mean your reader shouldn’t still give you evidence on this Spirit’s existence.
Someone told you that you should never speak during a session. Please speak! You shouldn’t be providing your reader with your life history however, it is okay to share your voice during a session. I consider a reading a three-way conversation between me, my client and Spirit energies. Sometimes hearing your voice opens up the connection stronger. If you are adamant about not speaking and fold your arms across your chest, you often close off your energy and your reader will not be able to make a connection to you or your Spirit energies. The more open to receiving that you are, the easier the reading will be.
Don’t be afraid to cut a session short. If a session isn’t working for you, please say something to your reader. Much of the “good” or “bad” of a session is if you connect to your reader or not. If you don’t like their style, delivery or demeanor, it may not be a good fit. Best if you can find that out prior to scheduling but sometimes you just don’t have that opportunity.
Not every reader is appropriate for every sitter. I receive a lot of referrals from my clients. I’m thankful and typically, if I connect with my client, chances are that their friends are like them. That isn’t always the case. My style is pretty straight forward and to the point. If you aren’t ready for that, I’m probably not the right reader for you, even if your friend connected well with me. Do your homework. Ask around. Attend fairs and expos and have shorter readings before you book a full hour.
Your reader is reading you, not everyone else connected to you. Ethically, a reader should be keeping their focus on you and the guidance that is for you. Ethically, they cannot tell you what is going to happen with your husband, wife, child, job, etc. Since each of us has FREE WILL, it would be impossible to determine what someone will be doing in the future, even you. As a reader, I can talk about your relationship from a standpoint of what is best for you. I don’t know if your boyfriend is cheating on you. He’s not sitting in front of me having a reading, you are. I don’t know what the judge is going to rule in your divorce case. He/she may have a really bad day the day you go to court and make a free will decision to make an example of you. I can only talk to you about what is for your best and highest and how you need to walk through your life.
Hopefully this information will get you started on finding an appropriate reader and having a successful reading. I could go on and on about this topic. I’ll have to add a Part II in the near future. If you have any specific questions, perhaps things that happened in a reading that you didn’t understand, or a question about having a first reading, leave a comment and I’ll address it in Part II.