The Art of Showing Up for Others: How Presence Transforms Relationships
Are you someone who often takes on others people’s energy? Do you leave a conversation feeling exhausted or overwhelmed?
Most people think showing up for others means doing something – giving advice, fixing the problem, or making the discomfort go away.
But real presence looks very different.
Why Showing Up for Others Matters
Showing up isn’t just about physically being present; it’s about how we interact and connect with other people. Most of us think we’re good at supporting those we care about, but often, we slip into “fixer mode,” trying to rescue, advise, or solve someone else’s problems. Honestly, that’s more about our own discomfort than truly helping them.
Presence Over Fixing: The Key to Authentic Support
Authentic presence means being comfortable in your own body, hearing the good, the bad, and the messy, all without planning your next response or trying to fix things. When someone shares a struggle, our instinct is often to make their pain go away, but this urge stems from our need to resolve our own emotional discomfort.
Remember: Every person is a soul on a unique journey. We’re not here to fix each other, but to walk alongside, listen, and honor each other’s experiences.
Practical Tips to Show Up for Others
Here are some actionable ways to practice showing up for others:
1. Regulate Before You Respond
Before you speak, notice your body. Are you tense, rushing, or uncomfortable? Take a breath, pause, and respond mindfully. Being present starts with self-awareness.
2. Replace Fixing with Listening
Stop searching for solutions in your head. Instead, listen fully and with curiosity. Ask empowering questions like, “What would you like to do about this situation?” or “How does this feel for you in your body?”
3. Practice Boundaries and Emotional Regulation
Holding space for someone’s emotions means not taking on their problems as your own. After a tough conversation, check in with yourself: What belongs to you, and what belongs to them? Keep your energy intact.
4. Celebrate With Presence, Not Comparison
Learn to show up authentically during moments of celebration (birthdays, promotions, weddings). It’s normal if these milestones trigger comparison or jealousy. The key? Acknowledge your feelings privately, and allow someone else’s joy to expand what’s possible for you.
Reflection Questions to Build Connection
I always invite listeners of the podcast to reflect on the topic, so here are a few questions you can ask yourself:
- Where in my life do I try to fix rather than be present?
- How comfortable am I sitting with someone else’s discomfort without needing to change it?
- What would it look like to let someone else’s joy expand what I believe is possible for me?
The Mindful Way to Show Up for Life and Others
Showing up for others is an act of care but it doesn’t require abandoning yourself. You can show up with clarity, compassion, and boundaries, all while keeping your own energy and emotional wellbeing in check.
If you want to go deeper, listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcast or Amazon Music.
You can also join the conversation in our This Life or Something Better Facebook group. And if you’re ready to learn the soul-centered way of supporting others, check out the Spiritual Counselor Foundations Program I teach.
Presence creates connection far more than advice ever will. And learning how to show up this way changes not only your relationships with others, but your relationship with yourself.